Little Bits of Life…

Well, the hype and stress of the holiday are over. I’m happy to say that Christmas Day, while not picture perfect, was a VAST improvement over years past and did not meet my (negative) expectations.

We opted to skip the large family gathering on Christmas Eve this year and instead spent time together as a family at home. The kids were super excited, of course, so we let them stay up a little late and get a bit more of the energy out. Then we took some time and acted out the nativity (a short, simplified version which better fit the attention span of our actors). Following the nativity, I shared my testimony of Christ and the meaning of Christmas and the Atonement with the kids and Kimball did the same. Then it was time to set out cookies and milk for Santa, have a short talk with the kids about what time they were allowed to come down in the morning (8:30 – they did well and didn’t come down until 8:15), and off to bed.

Of course the obligatory late night was in store for me, but I did manage to finish EVERY gift (though just barely!!!) before crashing that night around 1:30 (early for Christmas Eve – I know!!!).

Cue Christmas morning, and things really went well. The kids waited for us to get up (unlike Easter when the whole thing was over before Kimball and I were even up) before opening their gifts and stockings from Santa. We had a quick breakfast and got dressed and then opened presents from the family. It only took about an hour this year which was a change made in an attempt to keep the stimulation to a minimum. Erica only complained of being too bored twice, and nobody fought over whose turn it was to open a present. Erica was sorely disappointed that she did not receive an American Girl doll, but she held herself together pretty well and tried to be thankful for the gifts she did receive. There was a little griping (from Isaac) about the small number of gifts this year (again part of the attempt at less stimulation and overload) and a little emotion over not having a turn as often as other people (from Cambria), but overall the whole thing went of very well this year.

Christmas Day at church was mostly music this year. Erica sang in a group number, Kimball accompanied another piece with his guitar, I accompanied two pieces on the piano, and I sang in a women’s octet. Erica was on edge from the stimulation and disappointment from the morning so when she passed me to sit down after her musical number, she growled and swatted at me when I complimented her on her singing. Should have known better than to do that, but I still try to compliment her every time anyway. It’s frustrating not to know when it is okay to tell her I’m proud of her and when it will cause more harm than good. But by the end of the meeting, she had calmed down quite a bit and was mostly pleasant for the bulk of the afternoon.

Grandma came over for a while after church and the kids got to open her gift to our family. They got a kick out of it and that helped moods as well. Evening came and I prepared Christmas dinner with a nicely laid table of china and candles. Thanks to my mom, we had ham and three sides for dinner on Christmas, all which simply required warming. The kids seemed to really enjoy eating by candlelight and using the nice dishes. We taught them a bit about how to use a cloth napkin and hold a goblet. Always a fun experience to watch them learn.

I was so amazed and grateful to make it to the end of the day without a major meltdown. I had prepared myself for it, and it never came. It threatened several times, and I’m not positive it isn’t still in the near future, but for now I’m enjoying the fact that it didn’t happen. We’ll see what the week brings. Erica holds it in so much and then it all explodes. I was certain the American Girl doll issue would have been enough to throw her over the edge, but we had a talk about it today and came to an agreement: she will earn 1/3 of the cost and I will pay the rest. She is on a mission to earn $44 and she made some good progress today ($4). I’m hopeful she will take better care of it if she has to invest her own hard-earned (or -saved) money to get it, but of course only time will tell if that is the case.

All in all, Christmas was the best we’ve had in years. I’m so thankful to an understanding family who allowed us to back out of a gathering and to my wonderful husband for the blessing he gave me Christmas morning. And most especially, I’m thankful to my Heavenly Father for the extra measure of patience and understanding I received this Christmas season. Little by little, I am learning how to take care of my daughter the way she needs.

I block it out every year. Every year is the same, and yet I never remember until the last minute. Perhaps that is a gift from above, or perhaps it is simply my futile attempt to erase the problem. Whatever the reason, I had forgotten, until today, the misery of Christmas Day in my home.

I spent a few hours this afternoon wrapping presents. Not that there were a lot, mind you – simply that I like to make them look nice and, being a perfectionist, that can take a while. So I wrapped the dozen or so gifts in a few hours and brought them down to put on the shelves where they will reside until the children are in bed on Christmas Eve. The gifts, of course, vary in size. Cambria happens to have a rather large box from one set of grandparents. One of the gifts I had wrapped was for Isaac, and was of a moderate size. And so began the pouting. Erica is sure that everyone else’s gifts will be better than hers, because hers is not the biggest.

I had forgotten what a disappointment Christmas is to her every year, and how she melts down about half-way through unwrapping the presents. How we have a screaming banshee for the last half (at least) of Christmas. How everything is “unfair” because everyone’s presents are better than hers, or someone got more than she did, or the one gift that she REALLY wanted wasn’t given to her. I realized this afternoon that it is coming, and I am trying to steel myself for the inevitable.

I pray that this year, I can be a comfort to her. That she will know that I love her, and that things don’t matter. That she will understand that Christmas is about love and service and most of all about the birth of the Savior. We will forgo the large family get-together on Christmas Eve this year in favor of calm and quiet in hopes of communicating to our children the true meaning of Christmas. But I know that, no matter what I do, the meltdown is coming. And so, most of all, I hope I can make it through without shedding too many tears.

Cambria chose to attend a violin camp this summer. It lasted 3 days, for 45 minutes each day, followed by a recital.

She has really enjoyed playing her violin and has learned to play “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.

She is sure cute holding her tiny little violin! I was amazed at how small it is. This wasn’t even the smallest size they had – there were two smaller sizes!!! Incredible.

The camp instructor says she is doing very well, especially for her age. Cambria didn’t have a lot of patience for her class so it’s a good thing it was so short!

Erica is taking horse riding lessons. She has always loved horses, and this year CitySmart had a deal where I paid $20 and got two 45 minute riding lessons. We did those two and signed up for two more. We attended 3 lessons and then showed up for our 4th lesson and, due to some severe miscommunication, the instructor never did show up.

So we hung out in the back and fed the horses for a while, waiting for her to show up. Gave up after about 30 minutes and several unanswered phone calls. We rescheduled and we’ll go back again tomorrow, and hopefully this time the teacher will remember we’re coming.